Ajde ko zna neki dobar vic ...

[dragon]

Evo ga jedan svez

Jedino je Cak Noris promenio vise satova nego Milan Zmaj

Ovo je najbolji vic do sada.

[milan zmaj]

kad se ti ne bi javio

[dragon]

Još par viceva iz IT sveta...

Diskutuju advokat, doktor i programer o tome da li je bolje imati ženu ili ljubavnicu.
Kaže adovkat: - Bolje je imati ženu, sa njom osnivaš porodicu koja ti daje stabilnost i podršku u životu.
Kaže doktor: - Bolje je imati ljubavnicu, ona pruža strast i veliko uzbuđenje.
Kaže programer: - Najbolje je imati obe! Žena misli da si kod ljubavnice, ljubavnica misli da si kod žene, a ti sediš i programiraš!


--


“I just saw my life flash before my eyes and all I could see was a close tag…”


--


Programming is like sex:
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.


Hacking is like sex. You get in, you get out, and hope that you didn't leave something that can be traced back to you...


--


Information Passing

Programmer to Team Leader:

"We can't do this proposed project. **CANNOT**. It will involve a major design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system. And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these type of projects."

Team Leader to Project Manager:

"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any staff with experience in this type of work. Also, the language is unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project of this nature."

Project Manager to 1st Level Manager:

"This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."

1st Level Manager to Senior Level Manager:

"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project, but with caution."

Senior Level Manager to CEO:

"This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have already given in-house training in this area to other staff members. In my personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any circumstances."

CEO to Client:

"This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this project successfully and well within the given time frame."

[milan zmaj]

Dosla baba kod doktora sa nozem u kolenu. Pita je doktor sto ce joj noz u kolenu a baba mu kaze" meni je drugarice rekla da ako se ikad budem htela ubiti ubodem noz 2 prsta ispod sise.

[milan zmaj]

Bili mujo,haso i era da trase kucu i kaze jedan deda evo vam ova kuca besplatno.Udje mujo i kaze duh ja sam duh sa prljavim rukama i mujo pobegne kroz prozor.Udje haso i kaze duh ja sam duh sa prljavim rukama i haso pobegne kroz prozor i udje era i dodje duh i kaze ja sam duh sa prljavim rukama a era ajde idi operi ru...ke da jedemo.

[bursa]

Gladna Lisica šunja se u nadi da će naći nešto da pojede.
Tek od jednom iz žbuna se čuje Kuukurikuuu!!!
Lija sva sretna skoči u žbun, kad tamo Meda.
Meda dohvati Liju i poče da je guzi.
I dok on tako radi, poče razmišljati naglas Od kad sam naučio ove strane jezike, riba kolko oćeš.

[bursa]

Zgodna riba muva Zemunca
Kako si mi samo lep! Pa mirišljav, skockan, frizura do jaja ...

Upola rečenice Zemunac joj zavali šamarčinu
Kome bre, ti da je gej?

[bursa]

Leži baka u postelji i zapomaže
Jao deco, umreću vam, jao jadna ja...

Kako bi je utešio, unuk kaže
Ali bako, videćeš deku!

Baka se popridignu
Mali ćuti, ne pogoršavaj mi situaciju!

[Marko 5]

Dolazi saobracajac ranije kuci a zena mu nesto sumnjiva,kaze joj imas svalera,znam da je tu! ona ga ubedjuje da nema,trazi pandur,otvara orman nema ga,spajz nije ni tu,gleda na terasi nema ga,baci pogled ispod kreveta kad on tamo... Svaler pruza ruku i daje mu 20 eura. Pandur uzima,diskretno ih stavlja u dzep i kaze - Vidi stvarno ga nema...

[Kosta I.]

!Moj prvi post!(pa da pocnem sa necim laganim)

Ode Haso u Ameriku da trazi Muju.Dodje do jedne zgrade i pita coveka koji izlazi iz nje:
,,Jeli,jel ima ovde neko Mujo iz Srbije?,, A ovaj odgovara:,,Ima,Ima al se ne zove Mujo!,,